Resolving to Lose Weight for the New Year? Again?

By Mari Paulus

Every new year many people gear up and make resolutions to improve their lives in one way or another. With the obesity epidemic in full swing, you can bet that the majority of resolutions for 2005 will be to lose weight. Wouldn’t it be nice if people could actually lose the weight and keep it off for good by resolving the underlying desire that causes them to put the weight back on? That way, they don’t have to make the same resolution again next year. Certainly their bodies would appreciate it. The health dangers of yo-yo dieting are no mystery. But just as important is to stop the drain of the emotional energy it requires to take on this seemingly overwhelming task again and again.

People who find themselves on a roller coaster weight loss regime may discover that they have more to deal with than just the weight itself. It can also be that their relationship with food has developed beyond the physical need for nourishment. In other words, their relationship with food has become a compulsive one. They may find that their desire to use food as more than simply fuel for the body is causing them much negative consequences, not only unwanted weight.

While conventional approaches to weight loss, healthful eating, exercise, stress management, or distractions and substitutions can help some people with weight issues, people who eat compulsively are usually only left feeling frustrated and hopeless when these methods fall short for them.

The reason that conventional methods tend to fall short for compulsive eaters is that they have a unique situation. These individuals are faced with a dilemma — wanting to eat compulsively, and at the same, wanting to stop because the consequences are upsetting, uncomfortable, and even at times, life threatening. While they know on a rational level that continuing the behavior can rob them of health, happiness, and peace of mind, on an emotional/psychological level they feel driven, compelled, even obsessed to continue in spite of the consequences. They can find themselves living in constant conflict.

When a person is involved in a compulsive relationship with food, there are additional forces at work. There are other specific areas that need to be addressed to accomplish long-term resolution. The parts of the self that meet in the dilemma: the rational self (that wants to stop eating compulsively) and the emotional self (that wants to eat compulsively). Both need specific and equal recognition and attention. They cannot simply ignore the part that is driven to eat compulsively, hoping that the drive will dissipate without acknowledgment. Nor can they ignore the rational self, which knows the detrimental effect that compulsive eating has on their life, because the drive to continue doing it is so intense.

A person who eats compulsively may benefit on some level from conventional weight- loss methods. For example, if any person, compulsive about food or not, eats healthfully they can feel better on a physical level; and if they exercise they tend to feel stronger physically and can even feel better emotionally; if they practice stress management techniques they may feel more relaxed in general; and perhaps paying attention and tending to their emotional, creative or spiritual desires can help them feel more fulfilled. However, what these approaches don’t handle for compulsive eaters is understanding, breaking down and getting beyond the compulsive desire. And as long as the desire continues to arise, the problem is never resolved permanently. While all people can benefit from healthful eating, exercise, stress management and fulfillment, the goal of the compulsive eater is unique — when they reap the benefits exclusive to no longer having to engage in a destructive behavior, that is when they will achieve long-term success.

If a person is willing to look closer and acknowledge their thinking and feelings, in regard to compulsive eating, they can sort out the wishful thinking from reality. Once they are willing to become aware — recognize the separate parts of themselves as wanting two things that are mutually exclusive they can begin to break free of the dilemma and work on what they want for themselves for the long-term. They will no longer feel driven to act helplessly on their feelings, but are able to make choices from a place of awareness and consciousness and no longer have thoughts of food consume so much of their mental and emotional energy. That is when they can achieve true peace of mind in their relationship with food.

Mari Paulus is director of Conscious Weight Loss and has 18 years experience working with compulsive behaviors. She trained for eight years with Patricia Allison founder of The BreatheFree Stop Smoking Program and author of Hooked — But Not Helpless, Ending Your Love/Hate Relationship with Nicotine. Together Mari and Patricia created the Allison Foundation; a nonprofit organization dedicated to teaching children about addiction. For more information call 503-502-9340 or logon to www.consciousweightloss.com.