Part Three in a Three Part Seires

Part One
PartTwo

Walk Before You Run
A Healthy Woman’s Story of Breast Cancer

By Wendy Berton Handwerger

Wendy, surrounded by two "Team Cancer" hospital staff. On the left is Andrea and on the right is Rebecca.

Living with breast cancer is like being recruited for a team without your consent. And there’s no turning back so you might as well learn the rules of survival — literally! You may have thought you understood the rules when you got diagnosed and even if you had surgery, but the ongoing intricacies of treatment are a whole other bunch of bananas, so start peeling. This is the long haul so you need to gear up and be prepared to not give up, no matter what is thrown your way. Welcome to “Team Cancer.”

Induction onto the team started with confusion due to the “unique” nature of my anatomy. You may be thinking, “But everyone has unique anatomy, right?” While this may be, as far as the type of radiation I needed for my type of breast cancer, a “special” type of radiation was required that took longer and was more intricate. So much so that the machine actually broke the first day I started! I am kidding of course — the machine broke for another reason but I was enjoying my “unique” status and used this bad fortune to amuse myself as usual.

The “Radiation Therapists,” highly trained like nurses, are kind enough to offer any type of music you desire (I choose classic rock), another fine perk now that I was officially part of the team. Getting a schedule that worked was another matter entirely. Offering to bake brownies, clean people’s houses, or bribes did not seem to help. You just had to take the time available and work with it and hope you could manage your life: family, work, friends, and hopefully a little left over for rest.

Going to the hospital five days a week would certainly be challenging but what was clear was that being healthy, staying fit, and positive thought was necessary — and everyone besides you expects it. This may sound like pressure, but it is the kick in the pants that keeps you positively focused. Besides, you’re not the only one with challenges. One inspiring therapist, for example, shows up to work on a wheelie crutch (due to an injury) to provide radiation to her patients. Who am I to look weak and sad? Another nurse limps around in a boot due to her plantar fasciitis and seems fairly upbeat as well.

There are others besides your medical team that you don’t realize that are part of “Team Cancer,” by default. These “teammates” may have breast cancer, or any cancer for that matter, and these may be people that you find easier to share with. They can talk the talk and relate to what you are dealing with. One of my close friends has a sister who got diagnosed with another type of cancer at the same time as me. She is dealing with chemo and wigs, but many of our issues are similar. The weekly emails from my friend about her sister are sad, funny, and welcoming. We are bonded in a way that is very subliminal and comforting. Another childhood friend is having her own challenges unrelated to cancer, but again, sharing and supporting each other is a win-win for both of us.

In the middle of all this, you may choose to try to keep up your lifestyle, or alter what is needed. Since my job requires that I do physical activity, I did accept that I needed to pare back a little. This is part of staying a “Winning Team.” This may require the exact opposite of a real sports team that ramps up to win; you may need to take it easier to win this one.

My last “race,” if you’d call it that, The Run Like Hell 10k, was inspiring (mostly in part to the amazing teammate I ran with) but I enjoyed a slower pace. Maybe I am finally taking my own advice, “walk before you run.” And that’s one of the most important parts of being on “Team Cancer.” Forgive yourself and allow yourself to be OK with your new life.

One day I wanted to run to radiation and back but it was raining and cold, so I went to the movies with a friend instead. Another day, two friends took a “field trip” with me to radiation and we enjoyed the rest of the day lunching and chatting instead of dwelling on negativity. It is still a good idea to keep laughter as part of a winning team strategy.

Once you have accepted your treatment, there will probably be long-term medication and appointments — part of staying a “Winning Team.” The perseverance required at this point is probably the hardest part but be assured that committing to staying cancer-free is well worth it.