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Part Two in a Three Part Seires
Part One
Part Three
Walk Before You Run
A Healthy Woman’s Story of Breast Cancer
By Wendy Berton Handwerger
Newsflash — breast cancer is not fun. It gives a pre-operative positive attitude a run for its money. But I am happy to report that many aspects of having cancer are still humorous. It’s your choice if you are diagnosed: wallow in sad clichés and pity-parties or live life. I choose the latter.
Lesson #1
Have a great attitude. Surgery may not be the worst part. It is completely out of your control and you just hope to wake up with some “good news” such as all your lymph nodes were not removed and you may not need chemo. This was my situation. When cancer patients say “good news” that probably means they didn’t find “more” cancer and the treatment plan is not “that bad.”
Allow me to backtrack slightly. The beginning of the day of my surgery started out funny. First I was scheduled to have a “procedure” in the basement of the hospital and felt like a secret agent. The competent doctor literally said, “You may want to punch me in the face!” while having this procedure. I assured her I wouldn’t and as I lay there smiling, luckily felt no pain. Then, as I was prepped for surgery, I was told by the anesthesiologist, “You look like someone who will throw up.” No offense taken.
After my successful lumpectomy, my husband was brought in to the wrong patient’s room by accident, and that made for interesting dialogue about how much I had changed in three hours. Yes — having breast cancer does change you, but you can still embrace who you were before. Eventually we did “walk” out of the hospital as planned, and my loving husband even bought me the best present any woman would want after
Race Day
Sometimes in life, the most negative situation has a silver lining. This is one of those times.
The morning of Race For The Cure my entire running group, Run 4 UR Life!, was kind enough to get up at 6 am to run this race and what I suspect, to help lend support with my breast cancer. One of the gals had this amazing van that we all piled into and the comradery alone was inspiring; we could have skipped the race.
When we got there, my surgeon was up on a podium as a main spokesperson and came over and gave me a big hug before the race. The joke of the day seemed to be that I was confused why everyone had these super-soft white shirts and I had a thicker pink shirt that I would have gladly traded. Oops — I had the “Survivor Shirt.” At the end of the race, the survivors all in the pink shirts (including myself) ran down a separate lane to the finish, that’s when it really hit me “I have breast cancer!” |
breast surgery — Corn Nuts. Getting to walk out of the hospital was instrumental in helping with lesson #1.
Lesson #2
Manage your time, process information, and be your own advocate. You will get tons of information. The best advice was not to Google and listen to your doctors. You may choose to write everything in a journal like I do, or any other technique that helps, but one thing is for sure: you need to be your own advocate and everyone appreciates that.
Several times the fabulous medical team has been told that if it wasn’t for cancer, it would be enjoyable to visit with them. But, as much fun as I was having, I needed to approach this as a job, and I wanted a promotion — to be cancer free. That is the medical team’s goal and that is my goal, but getting there is not as simple. One day you are told no chemo and another day that may change. You may have to alter your daily, weekly, and even monthly schedule and that’s okay.
As much as I dislike clichés, they will be bantered around you whether you like it or not (and some may even be true.) Get ready for: “One day at a time;” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger;” and one of my favorites, “Drop back 10 and punt.” For those of you that don’t embrace football, this means “take one step back to go forward.”
Lesson #3
You can’t control other people. So why try? Not wanting to share with others and retreating may be one way of dealing temporarily with your new life with breast cancer, but to throw out another cliché, “You can run but you can’t hide.” As a woman who likes to be in control and a person who has always been healthy, it was hard to share but eventually you realize most people either have been through something similar or know someone who has (unfortunately), and life just goes on as normal. And that’s Lesson #4.
Lesson #4
Make goals, be kind to yourself, and life goes on. Trying to get back to “normal” like taking care of family, being a good mother, wife, sister, and friend, going to work, even what to wear — these are some of the daily things to deal with that seem overwhelming at first but get easier with time.
Accepting help may be hard also, but it’s something you may learn to do. And walking was truly one thing that helped clear my head to be able to get on with life. I even ran two weeks after surgery, but I did fall down. Maybe I should remember my own advice to “walk before you run.” But I got back up and brushed myself off and said to my friend, “The good news about having cancer is that falling down is pretty trivial.” I will beat this and wish the same for anyone out there diagnosed with breast cancer. But my biggest wish is that of the nurse/hospital coordinator I bug weekly with questions. She wishes she will be out of a job someday!
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Right Lib
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