Beyond
Walking

By Ronda Gates, MS

Ronda Gates, MS, is a pharmacy grad who traded her white coat for a pair of athletic shoes and never looked back. Her health promotion business, LIFESTYLES, provides motivational speaking, program development, and fitness assessment services to support people making a lifestyle change. She has developed health promotion programs for many organizations nationwide.
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An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.

— Henry David
Thoreau

Self-Talk: Friend or Foe?

Since 4000 B.C. when the euphoric effects of the poppy plant were reported in Sumerian records, people have attempted to understand the brain and nervous system. Whether it’s the science or the research, the brain fascinates me.

Although the heart is the critical muscle that delivers life-affirming oxygen to the brain, we also need a healthy brain to enable vision, hearing, learning, breathing, and, ultimately, all human behavior. Neuroscientists who seek to understand brain growth, learning processes, and behavior are pushing the envelope on this daunting frontier.

Some of the most exciting research has shown that positive self-talk lights up the motivational part of the brain and negative self-talk can trigger lethargy and depression. This understanding makes listening to what we say about ourselves critical to our ability to live a good life. For example, when Jeannie fails to keep to her plan to walk three miles, five days a week and tells herself, “I’m such a loser. I can’t keep promises to myself, much less to others,” that language has a significant impact on her ability to persevere and be successful.

To help illustrate this for my audiences, I’ve developed a series of stressful self-talk categories. Do you hear yourself in any of these?

Awful-izing: Some folks start the day believing the glass is half empty. They say, “Another dreary day in the Pacific Northwest,” or “It’s going to be a long day.” In truth, many days may start out gray but end up sunny. Every day is simply 24 hours. No more, no less. Visualizing the day as awful before stumbling out of bed sets the stage for it to be grim and tiresome. Alternatively, instead of expecting the worst, I urge you to visualize an enjoyable day.

Overgeneralization: “I’ll never lose weight,” or “I don’t have a thing to wear,” or “I have to do everything.” These statements are, in reality, out of proportion. It is possible to lose weight. You probably have a closet filled with clothes, and you don’t have to do everything. In fact, if your tasks at work are as critical as you believe, they will be accomplished by someone else if you don’t show up at work.

Worrying In Advance: This activity will assure you’ll have little joy in life. Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want. When I realized most of my worrying was about issues over which I had no control, I decided to quit worrying about them. I dropped a heavy burden and had more time to enjoy life.

Should-ing: Saying “I should” or “I should have” fosters guilt. I call it the gift that keeps on giving. “I should have (fill in the blank)” is not likely to add joy to your day. This is not to say that we may not regret past actions and make amends. For example, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you, I apologize,” can be a reminder to act more responsibly in the future.

Jumping to Conclusions: Making decisions, especially about what others are thinking or feeling, can make us miserable. Kathy is so focused on what others think or feel she spends her time twisting who she is to please them. Once I saw her appear in an electric blue dress. Her husband, who loves her deeply, said, “Wow! That dress is truly blue.” Her erroneous conclusion, “You don’t like it,” set the stage for another round of “that’s not what I said” exchanges.

Perfectionism: It takes work to be perfect. I don’t know anyone who is. Nevertheless, the media sends many messages about who and what we should look like or do. Few of us can achieve the bouncin’ beautiful hair, slim figures, and sparkling homes these ads suggest. It’s no surprise too many of us spend our lives trying to live up to unrealistic standards.

Useless Beliefs: Other thoughts that can’t help but impact our brain’s interpretation of who we are may be ingrained in society but make little sense. These include, “Making mistakes is terrible,” or “I must always be competent,” or “Strong people don’t ask for help,” or “The world ought to be fair.” Not so.

Neuroscience tells us that what we say to ourselves often predicts what we will become. That’s why affirming what we want, rather than using negative self-talk, will empower us to achieve our dreams. Neuroscientists also remind us that the most important activity for the brain is daily aerobic exercise. So, next time you’re out walking, consider changing any negative self-talk patterns that drive your psyche. Change your brain; change your life.