Beyond
Walking

By Ronda Gates, MS

Ronda Gates, MS, is a pharmacy grad who traded her white coat for a pair of athletic shoes and never looked back. Her health promotion business, LIFESTYLES, provides motivational speaking, program development, and fitness assessment services to support people making a lifestyle change. She has developed health promotion programs for many organizations nationwide.
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An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.

— Henry David
Thoreau

Pick Yourself Up

When I was a youngster, facing some now-forgotten adversity that could have deflated my self-confidence, my father broke into song:

Nothing’s impossible, I have found.
For when my chin is on the ground,
I pick myself up, dust myself off,
Start all over again.

“Pick Yourself Up” (lyrics by Dorothy Fields and music by Jerome Kern) became a dictum that has served me well for many years, including my professional life.

Whether we call ourselves educators, trainers, coaches, counselors, or teachers, those of us in the “helping” professions find ourselves supporting others as they move through a perceived rough spot in their lives. Initial contact is triggered by our client’s desire to take action and make a positive change, such as the determination to lose weight, to train so as to compete in a race, or to get back in shape following an injury. Sometimes they seek support for other kinds of personal or professional challenges that are triggered by loss. Even positive changes involve some loss and require support.

In my opinion, people seeking change fall into one of three categories. See if you recognize them in yourself or others.

The Dedicated. These folks have “seen the light” and are steadfastly dedicated to change. They’ve moved from contemplating change to taking action. They are committed. They soak up information, willingly set goals, and muster the necessary effort to reach their finish line — whatever it may be. When setbacks occur, the Dedicated bounce back, using any adversity they’ve experienced as a learning tool to move on.

The Seekers. These people are looking for someone to solve their problems. Like the Dedicated, they express a willingness to commit to whatever it takes to reach a goal. Often, they are, once again, attempting to reach a goal that has eluded them in the past. However, it soon becomes apparent that those of us who support them are simply another cog in the wheel as they roll through life looking for the right answer. If a coach/counselor/trainer is lucky enough to connect with them at any level, the Seekers may turn a corner and become active participants in meeting their goals. If not, they gradually fade away with excuses about why they can’t keep an appointment or stay the course.

The Dilettantes. These folks want to change and believe themselves to be committed, but are, in reality, still contemplating alternatives. Without saying so, they expect magic. They set goals and action plans, but quickly shift into a series of excuses as to why this or that strategy won’t work. Working with them can be frustrating.

I believe a key characteristic to fostering success for any of these folks is a positive attitude. “Yes I can” thinking synergizes effort and can often trump a less than ideal skill set. This approach to success includes the self-monitoring of thoughts and feelings to assure there’s no slip into self pity.

Repetitive self-talk that affirms your ability to reach a goal is often helpful. For example, instead of “I can achieve my goal,” say, “Every day I’m doing the best I can,” or “Nothing gets in the way of this commitment.” When an “I can’t” thought crosses your mind, it can be turned around by adding the powerful words, “Up until now.” For example, “I can’t avoid those donuts they serve at work — up until now.”

Your approach to setbacks also tells a lot about how successful you’ll be in the future. When things aren’t going your way, instead of slipping into feeling sorry for yourself, ask, “What am I supposed to learn? How can I benefit from this experience to become wiser and do better next time?” After all, few of us were born knowing all we need to know and will probably never know enough.

Happily, I am seeing more media segments that focus on heroes — those folks who have overcome adversity with a positive attitude and have the ability to muster skills that allow them to bounce back, to pick themselves up, and start all over again. When you see these stories, pay attention to the hero’s attributes and try them on for size.

Portland’s own Al Siebert, Ph.D., focuses on teaching skills that allow us to overcome setbacks. Siebert, author of The Resiliency Advantage, defines resilience as “the process of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences.”

He writes, “Resilient people overcome adversity, bounce back from setbacks, and can thrive under extreme, on-going pressure without acting in dysfunctional or harmful ways.” Visit www.resiliencycenter.com to take Siebert’s Resiliency Quiz and learn more about the characteristics of resiliency.

It’s virtually impossible to get through life without having to grapple with some hardship. Cope with a positive attitude and learn and practice skills to face and overcome the hardship. Remember: You can always start all over again.