Guts to Glory
Lifeline to the Future

By Susan Rich

When Vern and Maggie were first married, they couldn’t afford this dress that she so loved. To see what she would look like she cut-out and pasted a photo of her head over the advertisement and would look at it often. Vern did buy her the dress and he has kept this image for all these years.

First there was Maggie, and Vern Nelson’s life was filled with adventure: The two shared a love of the outdoors and spent years traveling the world together. At home, they were equally content, entertaining friends, working in the garden, and preparing lavish gourmet meals.

Married for 35 years, the two were inseparable. Then Maggie was diagnosed with cancer, fallopian tube adenocarcinoma. This condition is so rare that treatment is considered experimental. She died seven years later, and Vern Nelson’s world came to a standstill.

“Losing Maggie almost killed me, literally,” Nelson says now, three years later. “You know you hear of people dying from a broken heart.” He shakes his head, and takes a deep breath before adding: “I still have difficult days. I’d be in worse shape today if not for Portland Fit.”

One Step at a Time
“Ten days after my wife died, my friends Dave and Susan put their arms around me — and told me I was going to walk a marathon in 2004.” At the time, Nelson recalls, “I was in terrible physical shape.”

A former Marine, Nelson had always been an athlete, working out at the gym five nights a week. He loved cycling, hiking, and sea kayaking, with Maggie almost always by his side.

“I loved everything about exercise, the sweat, the aching muscles, everything. But after Maggie was diagnosed, I stopped. I was either at work or at home. I became the Pillsbury Dough Boy. How could I celebrate my own health when hers was dissolving?”

Nelson had never completed a marathon, but the idea was a lifeline that carried him through that bleak first year.

“I slogged through that first training walk,” he recalls. “I enjoyed the process even so, partly because it took my mind off of other things; it diluted my concentration a bit.”

His lifelong love of physical activity kept him going, as did a clear memory of what Maggie would have wanted for him: A return to good health and the physical prowess he enjoyed for so many years.

When Nelson started training, “There wasn’t a hard place on me. I used to have a terrifically defined six-pack. I looked good for a man in his 50s. Now, my stomach was like a feather pillow, I had love handles.“

“The walking program provided structure, and that was something I needed after Maggie died. I was adrift. Aside from the structure of training, I got to see friends and connect with them physically through exercise.”

Not surprisingly, Nelson battled depression. The training regimen either got him out of bed in the morning or kept him moving evenings after work was finished.

“There was no chance I’d quit; this was a lifeline. You have to do your training walks mid-week, then do the training walks on the weekend. I would train, even at midnight. “I didn’t want to blow off the training, because what was my next step if I did? This was something I wanted to hang on to,” he says.

M is for Milestone
“There was no doubt in my mind that I could walk a marathon, even though I’ve never done one before,” Nelson explains. “One thing I learned as a Marine, is that most people give up in their heads long before their bodies do. If you bite down and motor on, you’ll get there. Most people fear the discomfort so much they don’t start. They don’t try. Or they quit.”

Nelson completed the Portland Marathon, and has since gone on to do two more.

Now 60, Nelson is back in fighting form and looking for new challenges. On a good day, he can walk 12-minute miles.

What comes next? “I want to see if it is possible to return to running. I’d like to do a triathlon,” he says. “I’m not competitive, I just want to be the best that I can be. It’s gonna be an adventure.”

For the last two years, Nelson has been an assistant coach with Portland Fit. “When they asked me, I thought to myself — ‘Why do they want me to coach? What skills do I have?’ But then I threw myself into the effort. I’m a people person, and I believe I can positively encourage others.

“Training for a marathon helped me, it gave me a goal to focus on,” Nelson says. “I recommend joining a group for anyone who has significant life challenges. Whether you lose a spouse, a child, go through a divorce or bankruptcy or job loss, you need all the support you can get. And it feels good. You get in shape, you share time with others.