It's Not
About
the Scale

By Karen Preston

Karen lives, plays, and works
in Portland. A member of TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), she also founded Pounders, a weight-loss support group focusing on being fit through exercise and healthly lifestyle changes. Her story
was recently featured in Self magazine (September 2003).

I still find each
day too short for
all the thoughts
I want to think,
all the walks I want
to take, all the books
I want to read and
all the friends
I want to see. 

— John Burroughs

Positive Language

I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty tough inner critic. I mentioned her in my last column when I suggested that we work on treating ourselves like we would an honored guest in our home. We would never think of telling someone else that losing weight is “impossible” or he was “eating like a pig.” Yet, when we’re tuned into the thousands of daily thoughts that run endlessly throughout minds we may notice exactly that sort of language.

Shortly after I wrote my last column I invited one of the ministers from my church over for dinner. I was describing some of the obstacles I was encountering in my job search when much to my amazement Barbara pointed out that I was using some rather negative language. I didn’t believe her until she repeated verbatim what I had said. Oops, so much for practicing what I preach!

Now I’m focusing on being aware of my thoughts, removing negative ones, and replacing them with huge helpings of positive ones. When we use negative language our subconscious mind begins to believe it. On the other hand if we use positive language our mind believes that too. Our thoughts affect the way we feel about ourselves and can make losing weight so much easier. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions.

I’m an advocate of daily affirmations, but I’m the first one to admit that while it’s great to tell yourself positive messages it’s probably even more important to stop the flow of negative thoughts. One way to stay aware of your thoughts is to set up a reward system. Some of you may already reward yourself with a non-food item for making good choices. Consciously paying attention to your thoughts and avoiding thinking negative ones are other choices worthy of a reward.

I’m sure that you can think of other ways we think negatively: “Hoping” that we’ll do something instead of planning to do it; telling ourselves that we “should” accomplish a goal; going “on” a “diet” instead of making healthy choices implying that in the future we’ll go “off” the diet; “wishing” we could lose weight.

I often talk with people who are working on removing extra pounds. One of the most common comments I hear is a variation of “I was good this week’’ or “I was really bad.” Yikes, talk about all or nothing thinking! These are exactly the sorts of thoughts that make it difficult to be realistic about accomplishments.

Several years ago when I was in the midst of removing extra weight I had an experience that was a real eye opener. After losing over 100 pounds I was beginning to struggle with sticking to a healthy eating plan. One afternoon I ate four home-baked cookies instead of the two I had planned in advance. It’s important to realize that foods aren’t bad. We can eat anything we want on our healthy eating programs. We simply can’t eat as much of it as often.

At that point in my life I was making a list every night of three to five things that I was grateful for each day. It certainly did make me aware of the simple joys in my life that I took for granted. It is a wonderful exercise. But frankly I was still mentally beating myself up for my slip earlier so that particular night I felt that I couldn’t think of anything I felt gratitude for.

Finally I started thinking a bit differently. I focused on everything I had done that day that would help me reach my weight loss goal. When I looked at my day from that angle I realized that 99% of my choices during the day had been great. That’s when I put away my gratitude journal and started keeping a daily success journal instead. It was amazing how powerful I found it to write down my positive actions. It was like a snowball picking up more and more snow as it rolls down a hill. I simply kept gathering more and more positive choices each day to write down in my journal. Eventually I rolled right to a total loss of 184 pounds.

My suggestion is that we focus on being aware of the language we use in our daily lives and nip any negativity in the bud. Let’s also remind ourselves of our accomplishments and notice how much stronger we feel. May our lives be filled with snowballs of success.