It's Not
About
the Scale

By Karen Preston

Karen lives, plays, and works
in Portland. A member of TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), she also founded Pounders, a weight-loss support group focusing on being fit through exercise and healthly lifestyle changes. Her story
was recently featured in Self magazine (September 2003).

I still find each
day too short for
all the thoughts
I want to think,
all the walks I want
to take, all the books
I want to read and
all the friends
I want to see. 

— John Burroughs

Attitude Adjustment

“When it rains, it pours.” How descriptive of the way problems can start piling up until you feel like you just can’t stand it another cotton pickin’ minute! If you’re anything like me, pretty soon you start feeling either angry or depressed.

Frankly, dear readers, I’m at the verge of depression so it’s time for an attitude adjustment. Life was going along swimmingly just a mere two weeks ago! Then I received a message on my answering machine that my divorce was final, learned my mother’s macular degeneration is worse than I thought, was disappointed by a loved one’s deceptive words, came down with a minor illness and then, just to cap it all off with a dramatic flourish, a few days ago I received a pink slip.

All this turmoil within the last week and a half is catching up with me. I was planning to write my column on another subject, but how I’m reacting to these events caused me to think seriously about the choices I can make at this point. I realize that I can now choose to continue to let life overwhelm me or I can choose to look for the silver lining in my circumstances.

So what could possibly be positive about not having a job at the moment? Being single with a mortgage and without a steady income is definitely scary, but it hadn’t escaped my notice that my job wasn’t a good match for my personality. I was doing boring billing, when I truly thrive on working with people. I already know that my mission in life is to help others. Actually the company did me a favor when they laid me off. Now I have the perfect opportunity to research and find a more nurturing occupation.

It also occurs to me that without a job and a husband or boyfriend I have the freedom to move back to the Midwest and help care for my aging mother who shouldn’t be living alone. I’ve been worried about her since learning about her reduced eyesight earlier this year. Honestly I’m not sure what I’ll end up doing, but I do know that I want to be positive and focus on this as a period of growth and change.

This isn’t to say that I haven’t been feeling overwhelmed; after all I am human. I originally planned to tackle this column three nights ago, but I ended up being laid off that very day. Instead of focusing on writing I found myself staring at a blank screen and avoiding the task at hand. However I now have a very clean house and have given myself a lovely manicure. In the past I would have baked cookies or a cake, so at least I’ve found avoidance techniques that won’t ruin my healthy eating plan.

Unfortunately the one thing I haven’t been doing the last few days is walking. Yikes, here I am writing for a walking magazine and I’ve been inactive. You’ve probably heard that exercising just three times a week is beneficial for people with depression. Some people complain that exercise is boring. Perhaps they haven’t picked an activity they enjoy? I find my mood definitely picks up when I’m either dancing or walking. I think the key to sticking to an exercise program is finding something you love and which fits easily into your day. I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating that finding an exercise buddy is immensely helpful. Not only do you have the mood-elevating boost from exercising but you also have someone to confide in.

Finally, I have to admit that I’ve been worried about spiraling back down into a deep depression. I’ve been in the deep dark hole in the past and I don’t want to revisit it. I bring this up because major depression is a problem for many people. About 10% of Americans will deal with this condition at some point in their lives. I’ve read that it’s more prevalent among those of us who are overweight. So if you’re in this situation my heart goes out to you. If you haven’t yet done it, please go see your doctor for an evaluation. I promise to do the same if need be, but in the short term I plan to go back to my walking, find a meaningful career, and most important remember all the blessings in my abundant life.